When I Say I Love You
by JL Howie
Summary: What happens right after Santana and Brittany talk and Santana says she loves Brittany. ONE SHOT.


Santana was scared. Not startled or confused, but literally scared shitless. She was shaking, crying and dry heaving into the startlingly cold toilet bowl her cheek was currently resting on. Santana's fear emanated from her stomach and was slowly filling every cell in her body. She gave herself completely to someone and was shot down. That dull aching fear that always filled her was exposed today. She poured all her feelings into the one person she thought she could trust the most, but that just pushed her over the edge into deep abysmal fear.

She was in the girl's room, sobbing uncontrollably, the residue of her lunch lingering on her lips from where she had heaved it into the porcelain bowl. She had skipped class, but was beyond caring. Brittany was probably in Spanish with Artie. Hugging, holding hands, forgetting all about her. Santana tried to shake off these thoughts, but they just came quicker and more painfully.

_I love you_

Who was foolish enough to believe that just because you love someone so unconditionally and so passionately that they would have no choice but to feel the same? Oh that's right, she was. She smacked her head lightly on the bowl and laughed without joy, soon the laughter turned back to sobs and she was curled in a tight ball on the dirty tiled floor.

Santana heard the door open slowly and heard a pair of heels colliding with the tiles. She tried to sit up, but she was dizzy and decided to stay put. She opened her eyes and saw two shining upside down ones gazing back. Santana quickly pushed her head to her chest, trying to forget the guilt and worry etched into the blue irises.

"San. I'm sorry. I love you." This shook Santana, she tried to get up again, but she was so exhausted she only got inches off of the floor before collapsing again.

"You don't love me. You tried to get me to realize how much I- about how I- do you have any idea how—Brittany." Her voice comes out as a croak. Her throat is hoarse, and she can feel her voice wavering. She was angered by just how weak the other girl could make her. Santana tried again, put all of her will power into lifting her petite frame off of the floor and into a sitting position on the toilet. She shook her head and hung it, placing her hands over her ears to stop them from ringing.

The two girls stood in silence for a few long moments.

"I broke up with Artie." Brittany whispered into the crack of the stall. Santana was stunned. She was falling, literally falling over, in a dead faint. She was dead exhausted and that piece of news sent her over the edge. The last thing she remembered was Brittany calling her name over and over through the locked stall door.

_I love you_

She remembered it, that sound, that twinkling of syllables, Brittany's beautiful voice saying it over and over, a whispered chant into her ear.

"I love you, Santana, you're going to be okay, I love you, I love you so much." The blonde was crying into the Latino's hair, muffling it a bit.

Santana opened her eyes and was blinded briefly before she turned over and faced the girl who was crying over her. They were in a bed, not a hospital bed, and as Santana looked around she realized they were lying in Brittany's bed.

"How—" but Brittany cut Santana off by forcefully planting her lips on her opposite's. Santana was shocked, for she usually made bold moves like that, but the shock wore off within seconds, and she was kissing right back. Brittany's fingers slid through Santana's still sweaty hair, and pushed it back from her face. Santana grabbed at her companions skirt instinctively, thinking she had waited long enough and was ready to have what she had longed for, Brittany, all of Brittany. The smaller girl shied, earning a glaring look from Santana.

"San, as much as I want to do this right now, we can't. I—my parents are—I don't want to be caught. I know that if we do I probably can't have you anymore." She looked crestfallen, and it was all Santana could do not to jump over the bed and capture the girl's mouth in her own.

"Artie saw us talking in the hallway. He saw you crying. I told him it was because you saw a bad guy trying to kill a unicorn, but he didn't believe me. He made me confess. He said that I should—that we should. He wanted me to be happy I think." Brittany smiled up at Santana, who's eyes were filling with tears yet again.

"I make you happy?" she asked barely above a whisper.

"So happy." And she was hugging Santana. The hug was warm and lasted a long time. Brittany wasn't the best at words, but Santana felt like she put all her emotions into that one hug.

"I love you." Brittany whispered as she pulled away.

"I think you mentioned that," Santana chuckled back. Brittany's face lit up at the joke and grabbed Santana's hand.

"Let's go watch Tangled! You can explain it to me!" Santana was laughing hard now, as Brittany babble about how she didn't understand magical hair and horses that could use a sword.

They popped the DVD into Brittany's TV and cuddled together on her large bed with a newly popped bag of popcorn. Brittany asked questions throughout the whole movie, hopping up and down, nearly spilling all of their popcorn. She pointed at the screen often, and soon Santana couldn't pay attention to the plot as much as she was paying attention to the girl, who was sitting transfixed, beside her.

_I love you_

"I love you, too," Brittany whispered.

She could get used to this.

**A/N: I wrote this in like 2 hours. Sorry if there are any huge grammar mistakes. Uhm. I hope you enjoyed! My first Brittanna! I couldn't leave last nights episode like that, it tore me up. **


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